| I think I'll try defying gravity, kiss me goodbye I'm defying gravity! |
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[07 Feb 2009|09:50pm] |
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Please check out my dads' website! He really needs the hits and it would mean a lot to me! Thanks everyone!!!
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[24 Sep 2007|04:38pm] |
Do you ever just stop and think, "Wow, I'm a cunt"?
Ugh.
I'm still at WIU, but I like to think I am becoming more independant.
I have a house with three of my good friends: Kimmy, Kat and John. We call it the gay house because Kimmy, John and I are all gay and the house is covered in rainbows and naked people on seemingly the wrong walls.
I'm very happily engaged. Her name is Beth. We've been dating since last August but have been official since I asked her out at a White Sox game in April. She lives in Chicago and is moving into our apartment in November while I, unfortunately, am stuck here until May. We also have a dog named Hurley, who is a pain but sweet and absolutely adorable.
I'm now focusing on an English major with an African American Studies minor, which is much more fun than Zoology I'm realizing so I do believe I will recieve a Masters in English instead. I want to be a teacher, though I still dream of working with animals.
My parents still do not know that I am gay. The day I left to come back to school my dad asked if I was "a fucking faggot" and somehow it ended up with him appologizing that my friend had an abortion... which she didn't... sorry, Kimmy...
Beths parents adore me and are very very supportive of both of us. They are religious and truly do not judge, but praise and they mean the world to me.
This is me and my gorgeous fiancee
I can honestly say that I am never more happy then when I am with her and I know she feels the same.
I quit the sorority because it was too expensive and too catty, most of them still consider me their sister.
Now I'm in rugby and I love it. The girls are my best friends and I love playing.
Hope all is well.
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[21 Mar 2007|09:59am] |
So this is by far the longest I have ever gone without writing in my lovely journal, I needed a break from seeing Bridget post entries about certain things, but I'm grand now!
Catch Up:
Over Christmas Break I went to Ireland for 3 weeks to visit my friends Natasha and Phil. We had an amazing time and I got into a lot of fun trouble, we travelled all over the country and I did everything from clubbing in Dublin to kissing the Blarney Stone, it was amazing!
Then I had a fling with a very very bad choice for about two months...
Now I am happily single but talking to a girl who is also named Beth who is amazing.
More later... missed you all!
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[12 Oct 2006|06:28pm] |
Artist: Idina menzel
Song: Once Upon A Time
Album: Here
all the king's horses and all the king's men
couldn't put us back together again.
we huffed and we puffed,
and we blew this house down.
we tried. yeah, we tried.
the sticks and the stones were breakin my bones,
and the names that were said kinda hurt us.
riddle me this and riddle me that.
what went wrong? what went wrong?
when did the sun stop shining?
when did we turn into two divided?
i guess we will never really know why,
but i remember once upon a time.
sometimes i wish upon a star
to give you a reason to give me your heart.
rock-a-bye baby, you rocked me goodbye.
tell me why. tell me why.
when did the sun stop shining?
when did we turn into two divided?
i guess we will never really know why,
but i remember once upon a time.
all the king's horses and all the king's men
couldn't put us back together again.
we huffed and we puffed,
and we blew this house down.
we tried, yeah, oh, we tried...
oh, you know we tried...
when did the sun stop shining?
when did we turn into two divided?
i guess we will never really know why,
but i remember, yeah, i remember.
when did the sun, when did the sun stop shining?
when did we turn into two divided?
i guess we will never really know why,
but i remember once upon a time.
once upon a time...
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[09 Oct 2006|02:37pm] |
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So I'm really excited because I just weighed myself and I am down to 130lbs and I'm a size three!!! Me!!! It's fucking insane, but I am so happy! Now I'm just working on toning the hell out of my body so I can look hot in my Halloween costume... wanna see it?!
That's my top and I'm wearing a little matching skirt with thigh-high black leather boots or those underwear that attach partly down your leg to black stockings... haven't decided...
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| There's a fine fine line... |
[19 Sep 2006|05:04pm] |
So I'm bored and I've been trying to deal with all that is happening to me right now...
I'm seeing a lot of people... and that's cool and all, but I still miss being in a relationship. There isn't a single person that I'm "dating" that I would be even remotely ready to start something with... being with them only reminds me of what I had and what I miss.
I know we will never get back together, but we had so many good times together and I hate the thought of not having any more. I'll miss so much...
I miss going to Lake Argyle and taking pictures of each other for hours at a time.
I miss sitting outside Thompson on a sheet and just looking at the clouds.
I miss going to the zoo and trying to see who can hop like a kangaroo, or do the best monkey impression, or be the best conductor...
I miss kissing in front of waterfalls.
I miss giggling to little kid movies while eating movie-theatre popcorn with WAY too many seasonings, knowing that our breath will be disguisting and not caring.
I miss walking to taco bell at 2am.
I miss dancing without touching eachother, my arms almost around her waist and having drunk lesbians come up to us saying "just kiss her"
I miss making faces at each other when we don't think anyone is watching.
I miss watching Lost together for the first time and not being able to stop watching it for a week; I hate knowing season 2 is out now
I miss carving pumpkins and wiping her tears when she thinks she fucked up the design.
I miss buying dollarstore gifts and putting them in stockings... I miss watching her eat her chocolate from the calendar every day in December.
I miss going to Unity dressed as Pirates and making kick-ass first impressions.
I miss going outside just to kiss in the rain.
I miss holding hands at Walmart and getting stared at by Amish people and not giving a damn.
I miss watching her get in fights over mustard stains and pixels with strange men that we meet.
I miss waking up and saying I love you to the face I'd woken up to practically every day for almost two years.
I miss her acting like her father with certain superstitions... getting scared after breaking the mirror on my door and calming her down by explaining that it was my body that shattered it.
I miss having a kitten with her.
I miss dreaming of the future and picking out old houses that we could fix up.
I miss singing "Take Me or Leave Me" and every other Rent song... along with every Avenue Q, Wicked, Fall Out Boy and Dashboard Confessional song.
Most of all, I miss being able to smile at her without thinking she hates me.
There, I feel better. At least I still have the memories...
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[12 Aug 2006|10:07pm] |
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I had a family pool party today and it was a lot of fun. Meggie Annie came over for like three hours and the two of us just ate and ate... that was at three... it is now ten and I can still feel it all in my stomache. And now Eric is coming down the road... I dread going to the club tonight... oh well, it will be fun!
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[12 Aug 2006|02:05am] |
It's 1:46 in the morning and I am so tired! I want to go lay in my warm bed, but I also want to stay on here and talk to people.
I both love and hate being home, I got to hang out with some people tonight that I hadn't seen in a while and that was fun, but I really really miss my Macomb friends.
I have to go back on Monday because I am going to be initiated on Tues at 9am, I'm so glad that I have friends that are amazing enough to offer me their houses for as long as I need.
Thankfully I can move all of my stuff in on Mon as long as I swear not to try to actually live there until Tues or Wed... I think I can handle that.
Something that makes me really sad though, and that I can't stop thinking about, is how much attention my parents are giving me right now. I went from a 16 to a 6 and they are loving it. I mean they are to the point of scaring me with kindness. My mom took me shopping and bought me $300 worth of clothes. Then my dad paid for my hair to get highlights put in, another $100 without a word except "you deserve it". They are also going to pay for my passport and part of my trip to Europe... AND they are having a huge party for me tomorrow. Another thing is that they are always talking about me. My mom is so proud of me and she is always telling me how good I look. She even encouraged me to think of a bikini.... ME!
This is all really cool, but damn is it sad too. I never got this kind of attention before. I literally had to become half the girl I was before to get any kind of reaction out of my parents. Now, whenver I walk away, I can hear my parents saying stuff like "doesn't she look amazing? she lost 45 lbs in one summer!"
I don't know what to think... I always thought my parents didn't really like me... but now I know that it was true. I have to be skinny in order for them to be proud. Fuck my grades, all I got for all A's in HS was a DVD or something... now I come home with my pants falling off my ass and they offer me the world!
They didn't even ask me how I did it! I think I could of been annorexic and they still would be proud! Thankfully I love food way too much to ever give it up.
I mean, should this worry me?! Is this something we should talk about? Or should I just enjoy the fact that my parents love me now?
Also, my brother has gotten hideous. He has a beer belly and all that uckyness so my parents pretty much ignore him now. My mom made him pay her back for his $35 cologne after he saw the bags upon bags of clothes that she bought me.
I told her that I still planned on losing weight so she shouldn't buy me a whole new wardrobe yet, but she just said she'll keep buying me new clothes as long as I keep losing weight. I think she wants me down to a zero... which is insane. I just bought some pants that are a six and I look at them and they look so damn small it sickens me. Then I put them on and my ass fits perfect and suddenly they are pretty nice.
It's crazy because I look at myself and I cannot really see a difference, but my ENTIRE FAMILY, as in both sides, tells me how wonderful I look. Then they say that I must feel great now since half of me is gone... what am I supposed to think about that? They tell me how gorgeous I am now... what about before?
Also, I've gone to the clubs a few times since I've been home and I get a lot more attention there now... it makes me really appreciate all the people who told me I was hot before.
Thank you to all of you, the fact that you've always loved me means more to me than I can possibly say.
Please know that I am not bitching in any way! I love the way I look now, I'm a lot happier, I think I'm just being paranoid about my family... I suppose we will see soon!
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[12 Aug 2006|01:30am] |
Taken on my phone... I bleached my hair! Good or bad? Tell the truth!
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[07 Aug 2006|05:15pm] |
YAY! I am back home in Michigan! Don't get me wrong, Colorado was amazing, but I missed my pool and beaches like none other! I have a really really busy week between the shopping my parents want to do and the friends that want to hang out. Every one has told me that I look amazing, and it is really nice to hear. I've dropped from a size 16 to a 7 since most of my family have seen me :) It's great! I've also got my belly button pierced and a new tattoo, but they don't know about those... I'll post pictures later.
So yes, I was in CO all freaking summer and it was a lot of fun. I met a ton of new friends, two of which are internationals that I will be visiting over Christmas and New Years.
How is every one else doing? I missed my livejournal!
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[02 Aug 2006|12:03pm] |
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Wow, I haven't updated in months... I'm alive... I'm living in CO with Bridget and we are having a blast! I love and miss you all! Back to school in two weeks and I will write more!
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[16 Apr 2006|12:42pm] |
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So, Bridget and I were in a drag show the on Saturday and it was fucking awesome! Here are just a few of the pictures :)
 getting ready for "I like that" and "going Down Swinin'"
( More aiden and stevie )
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[07 Mar 2006|06:38pm] |
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I love sex during thunderstorms...
Especially when you have huge windows and can see everything...
Every burst of thunder gives you goosebumps and makes you tremble while every lightning strike tenses your body and arches your back...
Your hands convulse around the blankets as the rain becomes faster and harder...
The wind howls and barely covers your moans...
Trees scratch against the windows as your nails rake against the back above you...
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[06 Mar 2006|10:18am] |
Every single one of you should be A)Proud of me for wearing 2.5 inch heels today and B)Jealous that you can't see my hot ass in them!
Also picture tight black pants and a hot pink shirt covered by a black jacket. That's right... 3 piece suit with heels.
I love it.
I've been working on toning my body hardcore lately. The stomach, legs, and chest have been showing some MAJOR improvements. I'm pretty much planning on looking fine the next time I have sex, which, who knows when that will be.
Did I mention that Bri and I are back together? We've decided to take things slow (and I mean slow) by just dating each other. The first time around we met once, talked online for a month, had sex, and called it a relationship. We're waiting until after break to decide if we want to be together "officially" once again.
It's been reeaaally hard though.
We've been seeing eachother since last Tuesday and we didn't have our first kiss until late Friday night. I've yet to see anything more than her stomach and vice versa.
It's crazy.
Alright, well, since two of my classes were cancelled today, I think I am off to the library for some studying.
Damn midterms being this week!
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[02 Mar 2006|09:00pm] |
God, I love it!
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[02 Mar 2006|12:34pm] |
First of all, thanks to everyone for the support after my breakup :) You guys rock my world.
Secondly, things between Bridget and I are fantastic seeing as how it's only been five days.
Thirdly, went to house party last thursday and had a brilliant time, so looking for one to go to again tonight. Will I be successful? We shall see...
Fourthly, I am losing weight. Really this time. I've been on a strict exercise and food diet for two weeks now. I've been cutting alcohol pretty low the last few days as well, and there is definately a difference. My tight jeans are starting to fall off my ass and I need to run to Wal-Mart for the rest of my pants. It makes me feel good.
Bikini this summer!!! I swear! And then my mom is buying me a trip to Hawaii... she promised :) Yeah, she doesn't believe in me, but I'm going to be strong!
Fifthly, I love this icon. It's always rocked my world. Damn bitches for getting to kiss my man!!
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[25 Feb 2006|04:45pm] |
I need to type this because everytime I try to talk only tears are spoken...
Bridget and I have broken up.
It's funny because it seems like I shouldn't be crying... but I can't seem to stop. I am so fucking scared that she is going to hate me forever. I'm terrified that she will not want to be in my life anymore.
She is my best friend and I can't lose her. I know she doesn't believe me, I don't think she'd want to.
But I've never been so scared of anything in my life. I keep throwing up and shaking and... and just dying.
I know we can't be together again, but God I can not lose her forever.
I can't!
I understand if she doesn't want to see me or talk to me for a while, of course. I would be angry and hurt too, but I hope she will still want to be my friend.
I told her a long time ago that if we ever broke up, I wanted her as my Maid of Honor. I still mean that.
She's my girl, you know?
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[23 Feb 2006|05:45pm] |
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Everyone get up and dance and scream because my Grammy is going to be okay!!! She had surgery, but now she is doing good! Yay!
And on another note... I found these hot pictures online and thought some of you would like to see!
( Caution: Naked Lesbian )
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